What’s your success rate? (He actually meant how many times I have got laid?)

20170613_015108I am in my late 20s and a single man, who feels bad to be single at times but doesn’t care much. I am a man who is tall and not so bad looking and someone who has a different and unusual concept of love when you compare it to modern day parameters. I love reading poems of John Keats, Francis Bacon, Robert Burns and others. I would like to quote some of their famous lines. Burns had written “my love is like a red, red rose”, I interpret it as love is pure and pious like anything, it is not grey or have different shades it’s just simple, straight way love that is red, red like a rose. Then I will mention John Keats, he said “a thing of beauty is a joy forever”, I interpret it as if he was referring to his beloved, the ultimate beauty, whose single thought gave him goosebumps and thrilled him with joy. So my definition of love starts from these legend’s quotes. I might be wrong, some people may interpret it differently, but I would stand by my interpretation. Now I am coming to the point. Some one asked me today, are you on tinder(the famous dating app)? I nodded, then he asked, what’s your success rate? I said I have met people over date and it didn’t work. Sometimes they didn’t like me, sometimes it was the other way. He said, no, no, I meant how many times you got laid?, I laughed as I could n’t get him in the first place, I said it didn’t work out any time (I meant my dates only). He was surprised, I don’t know. And I told him, I am not using it, not so active and I don’t like this Tinderish Love, I find it so mechanical. Our conversation ended, but my mind was not letting it go. I have always loved literature, and I prefer using the word ‘beloved’ instead of ‘girlfriend’. I have had crushes, Infatuations but I have never fallen in love. I am a small town boy, come from a conservative family, studied in boys school. The first crush I had was when I was nearly 16-17 years old. We had a girls hostel in my locality and every evening a girl (she must be my age only) used to walk through the lane, I could see her from my house. I used to study in my verandah and always looked at her, but I was very shy, I still am, I never had the courage to ask her out. It was a big deal then. She was also interested in me, I could guess, as I caught her looking at me sheepishly many times. Then after passing my board exams I joined a coaching class where the teacher taught us Physics. There was a girl whom I have met in a family function and got to know she studied there too. She was not shy, was brave, I still like her for that. She and me started talking and became friends, we used to leave together from the class and I have noticed she used to stare at me from the front bench reserved for girls. My friends used to tease me about it. I was enjoying all her attention. But nothing happened (I meant love, if you are thinking something else, it’s because you have read Chetan Bhagat too seriously). Then I came to a university in Delhi and I was way too much into books than girls. I got a lot of attention from girls and I made some great friends who were girls and still are my friends. But I didn’t make any girl friend not even a half-girl friend (I am also a Bihari guy with not so impeccable English like it’s in the novel I guess). I remember a girl, beautiful, good figure, dusky, I have a thing for dusky girls. I liked her a lot and she was into me too. She indirectly tried to convince me to focus on her instead of books, but I refused to leave the company of books which were more dear to me than her. I believe I was an idiot, obviously she forgot me. Then I came in third year and I met a girl who was 2-3 years older than me (I like girls slightly older than me), she was very intelligent and smart. We were in the quiz club and we participated in a team event, I went with her and was fully confident that I will impress her with my great quizzing skills, but unfortunately we could not even pass the qualification round. I felt so bad and insulted as I had won most of the quiz competitions I had participated so far in my life, and here I failed to pass even the first stage and that even when I was trying to impress someone. She left the venue and I sat quietly for the main event to begin in Economics department of my college. I am telling you quite an interesting story here, you may laugh on my misery and the irony. The quiz began with top 5 teams of the qualification round. FYI we were the 6th in standing. There were 5 teams and an audience where I was sitting with a gloomy face. There was a provision that if the teams didn’t anwer questions it will ultimately go to the audience and for every answer the person who answer the question will get a 10 Rs chocolate. The quiz master started asking questions from the teams and the teams were leaving the answers, wrong answer or passing them. Most of the questions that came to the audience, I answered them. Those were easy questions, I was surprised how come they didn’t know their answers. The quiz master and organisers were more surprised with me answering most of the questions, one even asked why didn’t you participate? I said I participated but could not qualify. Lol. Poor guy, they must have thought. You know in the end, I had 12 chocolates that meant every single question was worth 10 points and if I had participated in the main event, I would have got exactly 120 points and won the quiz too as the winning team had just 70 points. I felt good now and wished she was there too to witness it. Then after some time, our quiz club became dysfunctional and I didn’t get to see her much. Even when we met, I idiotically felt I have lost the right to stand beside her, so just exchanged pleasantries and left. This way or another I have had the chance to have some love stories had I tried harder. Other than these I have some other stories with girls too but it will take a long book to discuss about all of them. I have grown up now and know where I went wrong but honestly I don’t regret much, rather am happy that I didn’t hurt anyone, even if I didn’t want a relationship I indicated it in a way that the other person feel free to move away. And I myself didn’t get hurt as I was not serious any time, I was innocent and not so complicated. Yes I feel I should have atleast one college romance or a love story to tell people but it’s ok to not have one as I will have it later, I mean now when I am able to handle it well and with care. I believe in genuine love with a genuine person and genuinely believe I will have it someday with full of passion and dedication from both the sides, I will have my lady love and a love story to tell and remember forever.

 

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Solo traveling: a breath of fresh air

 

 

I don’t know the meaning of life. I’m searching it everyday and I believe, the best way to look for it, is to travel, to visit new places, to meet new people, to hear their experiences, to see the mountains, to talk to the flowing rivers and to sleep under the stars. So one fine day, I decided to travel to some place not so far, with in my budget and worth going for. And I wanted to travel alone this time, so that I won’t have to convince anyone to go here and there, where I will be my own guide and companion. But then I thought: would n’t it be boring without friends? I talk so much, what will i do to not feel bored through out the journey? hmmmm.. Then I tried to convince myself: lets do it for once, what if I like it. So the next thing was, I boarded the train, reached my first destination and then never had second thoughts about my decision, I was all happy with my decision. I boarded Shatabdi train at New Delhi Railway Station and deboarded it at Kathgodam (a town in the Nainital district of Uttarakhand state of India), then took a taxi and went to Naukuchiatal (or ‘lake of nine corners’ is a small hill station in Nainital district of the Indian state of Uttarakhand) stayed there in a resort beside the lake for one and a half day then took a local bus and went to Nainital city ( a popular hill station in the Uttarakhand and headquarters of Nainital district in the Kumaon foothills of the outer Himalayas). My two days were over now. Then I went to Mukteshwar (a town and tourist destination in the Nainital district), spent one day there, now my three days were over. All these three destinations were within a distance of 50-100 km from each-other and nearly 250-300 kms from Delhi where I stay. Now let me tell you my experience as a first time solo traveler, it was awesome and pleasant. During the entire time I didn’t feel bored even for once, saw mountains, lakes, birds, did trekking, rock climbing, rappelling, zorbing, kayaking, para gliding, met new people, made friends and came back as a different person, as a more confident man, who is willing to take risks, who can travel to any part of the world without any companion and who enjoys his own company. So on the basis of my personal experience, I suggest everyone to travel alone sometimes, at least one solo trip a year. Traveling alone is soul searching and discovering a new, hitherto unknown side of yours. Pursuing a quest can bring a purpose to your life. Remember life is short, we can make it large by doing things we love to do. It’s never too late to start. So let’s do it, do it for our own happiness! 

 

 

 

Cowcracy after ‘New India’

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Welcome to ‘New India’, where a cow is more valuable than a human. It’s 2017 and with two more years to go, when the current govt will complete its 5 year term, these years are golden years for cows and quite horrible and petrifying for humans. Quite a tragedy, as humans get lynched in the name of cow protection, feel threatened by the most gentle animal i.e cow. And also while people die due to lack of health care, the health sector, hospitals are getting worse, the govt started ambulance services for cows. First class health care for the first among the animals. What an irony!

So just think what will happen if it continues and the situation gets worse.

Here in an imaginary tale, a satire, based on an Orwellian idea.

2019: after 2 years of hell for humans and heaven for cows

The incumbents came back to power with a thumping victory in the general elections. Now cows are becoming more and more powerful with each passing day.

Cows are first class citizens and humans are second class. Now there are cowlove shauchalayas (it has just replaced Shulabh Shauchalayas), where cows go and urinate, shit and take bath. Sometimes ago the govt, still run by humans, proposed Aadhar-like unique identification number for cows in India and also setting up sanctuaries for cows across India. The govt had also recommended special care for cattle beyond age of milking, launching ‘animal health cards’ for them.

Now all those proposals and recommendations has been accepted and implemented and you know it made cows first class while humans second class citizens. The govt took away voting rights from humans, they thought they do not deserve it, the govt actually did n’t want any sort of opposition that may hurt them.

The govt also snatched away Aadhar cards from humans because they were complaining too much about it, they literally became a pain in their ass. And now you know they are second class citizens.

The govt never ran old age homes for it’s old human citizens not loved and taken care by their children but it established several special care centres for cows beyond age of milking. Again you know humans are second class citizens.

Then cows now so empowered like never before, started plotting against the govt, they wanted to get rid of the govt still ran by humans. They believed why should a certain bunch of humans rule upon them when actually they are running the system, society and the country. They thought again humans are nothing but second class citizens.

Cows after a hell lot of efforts finally toppled the govt and launched a system ‘of the cow, for the cow and by the cow’, they named it Cowcracy, the first in the world. Now they snatched away all the remaining rights from humans and forced them to live like slaves.

The National Cow Party (one party system like neighbour China), soon started running an autocratic system, their cow police and cow army attacked humans, removed them from their houses and forced them to stay in ghettos far from the mainland areas. Now men started living like animals, back to the nomadic ages. They accepted their fate and started believing COWS ARE FIRST CLASS CITIZENS, THEY ARE SECOND CLASS.