What’s your success rate? (He actually meant how many times I have got laid?)

20170613_015108I am in my late 20s and a single man, who feels bad to be single at times but doesn’t care much. I am a man who is tall and not so bad looking and someone who has a different and unusual concept of love when you compare it to modern day parameters. I love reading poems of John Keats, Francis Bacon, Robert Burns and others. I would like to quote some of their famous lines. Burns had written “my love is like a red, red rose”, I interpret it as love is pure and pious like anything, it is not grey or have different shades it’s just simple, straight way love that is red, red like a rose. Then I will mention John Keats, he said “a thing of beauty is a joy forever”, I interpret it as if he was referring to his beloved, the ultimate beauty, whose single thought gave him goosebumps and thrilled him with joy. So my definition of love starts from these legend’s quotes. I might be wrong, some people may interpret it differently, but I would stand by my interpretation. Now I am coming to the point. Some one asked me today, are you on tinder(the famous dating app)? I nodded, then he asked, what’s your success rate? I said I have met people over date and it didn’t work. Sometimes they didn’t like me, sometimes it was the other way. He said, no, no, I meant how many times you got laid?, I laughed as I could n’t get him in the first place, I said it didn’t work out any time (I meant my dates only). He was surprised, I don’t know. And I told him, I am not using it, not so active and I don’t like this Tinderish Love, I find it so mechanical. Our conversation ended, but my mind was not letting it go. I have always loved literature, and I prefer using the word ‘beloved’ instead of ‘girlfriend’. I have had crushes, Infatuations but I have never fallen in love. I am a small town boy, come from a conservative family, studied in boys school. The first crush I had was when I was nearly 16-17 years old. We had a girls hostel in my locality and every evening a girl (she must be my age only) used to walk through the lane, I could see her from my house. I used to study in my verandah and always looked at her, but I was very shy, I still am, I never had the courage to ask her out. It was a big deal then. She was also interested in me, I could guess, as I caught her looking at me sheepishly many times. Then after passing my board exams I joined a coaching class where the teacher taught us Physics. There was a girl whom I have met in a family function and got to know she studied there too. She was not shy, was brave, I still like her for that. She and me started talking and became friends, we used to leave together from the class and I have noticed she used to stare at me from the front bench reserved for girls. My friends used to tease me about it. I was enjoying all her attention. But nothing happened (I meant love, if you are thinking something else, it’s because you have read Chetan Bhagat too seriously). Then I came to a university in Delhi and I was way too much into books than girls. I got a lot of attention from girls and I made some great friends who were girls and still are my friends. But I didn’t make any girl friend not even a half-girl friend (I am also a Bihari guy with not so impeccable English like it’s in the novel I guess). I remember a girl, beautiful, good figure, dusky, I have a thing for dusky girls. I liked her a lot and she was into me too. She indirectly tried to convince me to focus on her instead of books, but I refused to leave the company of books which were more dear to me than her. I believe I was an idiot, obviously she forgot me. Then I came in third year and I met a girl who was 2-3 years older than me (I like girls slightly older than me), she was very intelligent and smart. We were in the quiz club and we participated in a team event, I went with her and was fully confident that I will impress her with my great quizzing skills, but unfortunately we could not even pass the qualification round. I felt so bad and insulted as I had won most of the quiz competitions I had participated so far in my life, and here I failed to pass even the first stage and that even when I was trying to impress someone. She left the venue and I sat quietly for the main event to begin in Economics department of my college. I am telling you quite an interesting story here, you may laugh on my misery and the irony. The quiz began with top 5 teams of the qualification round. FYI we were the 6th in standing. There were 5 teams and an audience where I was sitting with a gloomy face. There was a provision that if the teams didn’t anwer questions it will ultimately go to the audience and for every answer the person who answer the question will get a 10 Rs chocolate. The quiz master started asking questions from the teams and the teams were leaving the answers, wrong answer or passing them. Most of the questions that came to the audience, I answered them. Those were easy questions, I was surprised how come they didn’t know their answers. The quiz master and organisers were more surprised with me answering most of the questions, one even asked why didn’t you participate? I said I participated but could not qualify. Lol. Poor guy, they must have thought. You know in the end, I had 12 chocolates that meant every single question was worth 10 points and if I had participated in the main event, I would have got exactly 120 points and won the quiz too as the winning team had just 70 points. I felt good now and wished she was there too to witness it. Then after some time, our quiz club became dysfunctional and I didn’t get to see her much. Even when we met, I idiotically felt I have lost the right to stand beside her, so just exchanged pleasantries and left. This way or another I have had the chance to have some love stories had I tried harder. Other than these I have some other stories with girls too but it will take a long book to discuss about all of them. I have grown up now and know where I went wrong but honestly I don’t regret much, rather am happy that I didn’t hurt anyone, even if I didn’t want a relationship I indicated it in a way that the other person feel free to move away. And I myself didn’t get hurt as I was not serious any time, I was innocent and not so complicated. Yes I feel I should have atleast one college romance or a love story to tell people but it’s ok to not have one as I will have it later, I mean now when I am able to handle it well and with care. I believe in genuine love with a genuine person and genuinely believe I will have it someday with full of passion and dedication from both the sides, I will have my lady love and a love story to tell and remember forever.

 

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